There's an elephant on my face: Awareness

Today is the second international trigeminal neuralgia awareness day and I've been posting on Facebook to raise awareness. The response has been amazing from friends and acquaintances but I doubt that those who have not felt this pain can ever truly understand it. For the past few days I've had shocks without any trigger. I think I'd be able to handle it if it was still just on the left side, but no, I now have pain on both sides and last night had the torture of a bilateral attack. It hurts more to think that I can't do something as simple as go for a picnic with my family without becoming anxious that I'll have excruciating pain. It hurts inside to know that my family has to deal with this and that just a kiss on the cheek from my girls can feel like a knife cutting in to me.

And so, with the awareness day alerting those around me to this horrible disease, I come to the realisation that I'll be aware of it 24/7 for the rest of my life.... And that hurts, hurts deep in my soul. It's a hurt I can't fully describe without screaming and crying. But I can't, because a tear is the equivalent of an electric shock.